Overcoming Shyness on your First Date
Even if you are a normally outgoing and extroverted person, you may experience apprehension when going out on the first date. The pressure to live up to unknown expectations can be daunting, especially if you are interested in getting to know the person better, and even more so if you are shy.
Below are some tips that can help you with overcoming shyness on your first date. By overcoming your shyness on the first date, you will allow the real you to shine through, and raise the possibility of going on a second date.
Before the Date
1. Prepare and Over prepare
Preparation for the date cannot be over emphasized! If you are shy by nature, it is essential to prepare so that you are never caught without confidence. Know your own strengths and weaknesses, and avoid getting yourself into situations where you are the most vulnerable.
If you uncomfortable with making small talk, pick an activity that allows you to avoid talking e.g. watching a movie, or one with a lot of activity e.g. sports or outdoor activities. The key here is to play to your strengths. Have a backup list of topics that you are interested in, or that you think that she will be interested in for those awkward silences.
Before you pick her up, visualize yourself talking to her with ease. This will help to prepare you for the actual situation, as well as keep you from losing your nerve when you finally meet her. Picture the entire date, from picking her up, to dinner, and sending her home. That way you can ensure that you have covered almost all the possible situations that may occur, and will not get caught by surprise.
4. Dress Right
It is important that your date knows what you will be doing for the evening. Dress appropriately for the occasion, and do not over or under dress as it could end up with either of you feeling bad.
During the Date
Practice smiling at yourself before the date. You will find that a smile can work wonders when you’re meeting someone new. It will help set your date at ease, and help you to come across as a friendly and sociable person. In between pauses in conversation, keep a small smile on your lips to show that you are enjoying yourself, or the conversation.
2. Eye contact
Too much eye contact can be intimidating, but too little eye contact can come across as abrasive, uninterested or shy. Even if you are a shy person, try holding her gaze for one to two seconds during conversations. Make sure she knows that you are paying attention to what she is saying and not to the food on your plate.
3. Think Positive
Throughout the date, keep yourself from harboring any negative thoughts. Think confident and you will be able to act confident. Remind yourself that your date is likely just as nervous as you are.
If you find yourself too tongue tied at the initial stages of the date, ask your date some questions about themselves. What are their hobbies, or what they think of the latest news, are all neutral topics that can get them to open up a little more. Keep the conversation flowing, and make sure not to monopolize the airtime by babbling or rambling on.
If you follow the above guidelines, you should be well-equipped to handle a first date. Perform well enough, and you could be well on your way to a second! Remember to keep thinking positive and confident thoughts, and allow the real you to show through by overcoming your shyness on the first date.
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